All Roads Lead to Stupid

My trip to Egypt has provided further proof that domestic or international, here or there, in the US or not, travel inevitably leads to an exacerbating level of stupidity on the part of ones fellow travelers. Having now learned to tell people they are idiots in three languages, each additional language merely extends the length of one’s anger.
First, dear sir from France: you are from France, a place I understand to be quite civilized. Ergo, why do you feel that attempting to go through the metal detector with your headphones and belt on THREE TIMES is a good idea?
Second, to the idiotic mother who took my seat. You are your 5-year-old have middle seats in different rows. Did you just discover this? Did you pay any attention when they handed you your ticket and seating assignment? Are you just not that bright? Well thanks to your inattentiveness, laziness, or apathy you are in my window seat near the front of the plane while I am in your daughter’s middle seat at the back of the plane. I hate you. And the camel you probably rode in on from Hadramawt. Wearing a burqua is not an excuse to act like a total idiot and inconvenience your fellow travelers, none of whom are particularly thrilled about being on an all-night flight and are planning to get at least an hour or two of sleep.
Oh, and if you are sitting at the back of the plane and are carrying a basket large enough to put a moderately-sized sheep in, find an empty overhead compartment to place your abnormally-large and rather unattractive piece of handicraft in before reaching row 37. Fikra jaeyda (good idea)! Oh, and Eid Mabruk! On the days of Eid, many families will be giving money and sheep’s meat to the poor and committing acts of kindness and benevolence toward others. My friend Hassan’s family will have two sheep slaughtered to give to the poor of Cairo; you are not off to a good start (and if one more taxi driver tells me “seddikka, it’s Eid” while trying to rip me off, I will put the Evil Eye on them.
My blue eyes already make me more likely to possess and transfer the Evil Eye, an unfortunate fact I became aware of when one of my neighbor women began hiding her youngest daughter from me. At first, I thought “hiding her child from the decadent westerner”, but seeing as how this behavior continued with me in an abayya and a hijab, we’ll chalk her avoidance up to fear that I would curse her littlest child. Right, like I have nothing better to do. I think her daughter is probably in greater danger from the cars in the street, where she regularly plays, but that's just my silly little opinion.